Today is about someone.
I didn’t say “Today, it’s about someone” you see.
I didn’t say I am gonna ‘write this story’ about someone you see. There’s a thin line of difference between writing a story about someone and writing about someone.. writing for someone…
And a person is only as good as you think they are So imagine the best you can… and this person would be better to me. Will I be exaggerating? Yes I will be. But let it be this way, won’t you? If I have to make a person, I might as well make the best living thing 😉
You know, sometimes someone changes your definitions of life. I had to change one that day. Now, I couldn’t say that friendship happens only with the expected. I mean how could I. Did I expect that? How could I.. But well it did happen I guess. And I’ve had other examples to follow… but the first one will always be the first one.
I remember how we met.
I remember the last time I saw the same face.
I think the last word I heard would be the good old ‘bye’ but I am not too sure.
I don’t know how but it amazes me that somewhere between ‘saying’ these words and ‘meaning’ these words… friendship happens. Every single time.
If I got a chance to go back in time and change things… I won’t. Not the bad. Neither the good.
And that is what makes it the most precious thing for me. I can’t risk change anything and see if it still works. And that means accepting the first ‘Hello’ and the last ‘Goodbye’… only I don’t.
Few weeks back I got my phone damaged and I had to switch to my old cell phone (yes older than my current Nokia 3110c, now I don’t even have a camera 😛 ) and guess what.. it still had some SMSs from my 11th and 12th standard school life. And as I spent that evening reading all those old SMSs in there, I found things.. Na, I am not gonna share anything here.
I don’t regret things that didn’t happen. But I certainly regret things that couldn’t.
Because when ‘did’ shows desire, ‘could’ shows possibility…
From the past few years, if I were to say which 3 moments I remember the most clearly and which I would remember forever, then I would say all 3 of them had rains, trains and tears…
And not all of them had ‘good’ tears. Sorry. But what followed was the best I had. And most certainly the last of its kind.
Make that 4 and add another set of rains and tears. No trains this time.
Now out of these 4, the one most true one was probably when tears were accompanied by a smile that I knew was most honest of all days, a smile which was to be there till the very day it wasn’t.. yea there are no ‘forever’s in life, just really long ‘ever’s if you are lucky enough. That day, I brought a dairy milk, and I got a gift not on my birthday but on a day which gave birth to a ‘me’.
Today, I don’t just have a habit of checking my stuff such as my compass box just to check if I have my i-card or just out of randomness. It was a habit of making sure I don’t lose stuff important to me.
That day I was talking about, the gift that I got, I must say I got more than a gift worth keeping safe. And no matter how many times I looked back just to see if everything is how it must be, I could never be sure enough.
Friendship has no clear ending. Its always a hazy phenomena of being and not being which goes on forever unless you lose all contacts which thankfully is not possible by grace of Facebook and Whatsapp. God only knows what I’d be without it. But as I was saying, its hazy. It has always been but I guess it doesn’t really matter however hazy it gets, if you can still see light at the end of a tunnel, its there…
There are few things in life that stick to your mind. That define a time period of your life. A meaning to a place. You say 2010 and I go back to those things that are stuck in my mind. Its natural reflex. You say ‘Ahmedabad’ and I remember my first few moments in Ahmedabad, probably my first few college days too. You say ‘Nadiad’ and you explode my mind 😛
You must feel grateful for being that for someone.
Like endless rain inside a paper cup, there are moments that would just pour down if I think about it but none that I can write about.
Except one thing.
Well, you know, when you have a favorite thing, either you misplace it, or someone takes it from you and misplaces it, or the worst of all, takes it from you without asking and misplaces it…
Sorry but I lost the gift.
But that’s the most I could hold on to it. And that that was the extend of my attempts and assurance to keep it safe with me. Because sometimes when you leave your dearest things alone for 1 single unfortunate unlucky moment, its all lost… Someone might just take it and misplace it.. without even asking you.
What can one do except regret?
Maybe understand that holding on never did good to anyone? Oh I won’t.
Think about what’s left? I am not too sure.
Feel sorry? Yes but I don’t know what for anymore.
Wait for you to say that its okay I lost it? Yea maybe that will help..
For all I know, maybe you would not remember anything about that day, why I brought a dairy milk for you that day or what I wrote in your diary that day, but you know better why I deserved the gift.. And I know better why you deserved every small or large thing I tried and what I did and what I couldn’t…
And I will always be silently wishing for your happiness.. till a ‘forever’ I can promise longer than you can imagine. Just this once, making it loud and public 😉